"Have You Ever Thought About Leaving?"

Have You Ever Thought About Leaving?

This past few weeks, I had a friend that came from abroad. And I asked question to several people I know. We talked about how much we can bear this city that we grew up, that some of us call home, some of us don't want to be here, some of us just came here to visit, and some of us just stuck here and struggle to survive. Me? I was born here, and grew up here.

Fuck the traffic, fucking love the city.

Yes. the traffic is unbearable, I do admit that I contribute to the traffic by driving my own car and bike here and there, but hey, where I'm going, it will take me more effort to take public transportation, plus, I pay my taxes so I deserve better infrastructure. So back to the question.

"I never thought about actually leaving, because everywhere I go, I always have this feeling of missing home. When I was away, I missed a lot of things that I left behind, and I was really looking forward to go back to those things I had in mind.

But then I went back and things weren't the same."

I got that from a friend. Despite the fact that she needs to finish her study, and work abroad.

In some way, I love it enough to tolerate, that's why I stay and still hope that things will get better, it's like a relationship with this city, you get hurt sometimes, and I think I'm still here hoping to regain what I've lost, in vain.

Nevertheless, I'm not lucky enough to have parents that will throw me money to spend to start a new life abroad, I'm not lucky enough to get a chance to study abroad, well, I had some, but threw it away for some girls in the past. My parents pampered me well though, they raised me well to always feel enough. Some people I know have the capability to decide and just go because they were born rich.

at this point, you thought I was going to say "yes, I'm stuck here in this hell hole" right? NO. I wasn't going to say that. I still have mouths to feed, study to finish, career path to achieve, people that I care, my family, and most importantly, my cats :)

But my future children deserve a better environment to grow up. They need better education, better infrastructure, and I will make efforts for that to happen. I'm not gonna force anything though, but keep this in mind, it will actually cost more to live here with the same field of work, why? You're gonna need to buy a car, a house that you can afford probably located at the edge of the town, which leads to more stress due to traffic, and good education is expensive unless you're smart as fuck and get scholarship.

In the mean time, I'm here for this city, and everywhere I go, any place that I will end up at, I will always be that Indonesian guy Ikip. and home isn't just here, a city, a country, earth is home. And I'm keen to explore.

In conclusion, do I really think about leaving?

Well, to put it in good words, my heart will always be here.